The REOFFENDERS

Friday

We left Exeter at 3.30pm driving through rain and hail. Not a good sign. We got to our caravan which was rather nice. Compact little bedrooms but a decent living space, and heaters in every room. Cool. Indesit did look a bit cramped though - he's a bit too long for that size bed.

We had a quick meal and then went to Helston for the evenings gig. It was an early start as the Bell have had neighbour problems and need to finish music by 11pm. It was nice to see familiar faces from our last visit there. Apparently they've been talking about us all week. Awwww. one guy was a little bemused to be told that there's a photo of him being stroked by Hoover on our website.

As I went to get changed, I discovered that I didn't have any makeup with me. Nooooo! I can't be Morphy-Richards without loads of black cack on my face! The barstaff helped me out by lending me eyeliners which I used to "colour in" lips and eyes. Job Done. Thank you ladies.

We were packed away by midnight which gave us time to visit The Blue Anchor at the bottom of the hill. The others were sensible with their drinking whilst Indesit and I indulged in Spingo Easter Special beer at 7.6%. Wahooo.

Back at the caravan, John was transfixed watching TV while the rest of us went to bed after a quick coffee. It's not often I make it to bed before John!

Saturday

After a cooked breakfast in the caravan, we popped round to Paul Pondlife's house for a cuppa and to shoot the breeze before wandering into town for some grub. Katie had shredded too many drumsticks the night before so we were also in search of a music shop so that she could stock up on some spares. Paul pointed us in the direction of a great little shop that had all sorts of gems. Hoover and I invested in new kazoos (very expensive don't you know) whilst Indesit treated Katie to some "light up" drumsticks. They're clear perspex and when you hit something, they light up red. Well it had to be done really!

We called in at Wetherspoon's for tea to get out of the rain which was pretty nasty, before hunting out the Acorn Theatre. Attila arrived shortly after us and we proceeded to soundcheck the three bands. Before long, it was time to get changed and play our one hour set. People came through from the bar as soon as we started playing and we went down really well. People seemed to "get" us. Attila joined us for the last three songs: Ruby Soho, London Calling and one of his own songs, Commandante Joe.

After a quick chat with Paul Pondlife (where he delightedly told us that the night was a sellout) it was time to get the drinks in, which is where the evening started to get messy. Indesit and I decided to save time by buying beer in pairs. Oh dear! We met up with our friend Sara who had impulsively decided to move from Exeter to Penzance! Wow! Normally she drinks a half pint of beer in an evening, however she was grinning like a mad thing confessing to be on her third bottle of St Austell's Proper Job (5.5%). Oh dear oh dear!

Attila was great as always but I was most looking forward to dancing to Pondlife. They played brilliantly as always (I'm still singing Bella Ciao). I've got to make sure I see them more often. The rest of the evening is a little blurred (if not non-existent in my memory). We gave Paul Pondlife a lift home. As he got in the van, he managed to close the door on my hand. I've got a line of bruises across three fingers. Ouch!

Katie took over the "mum" role and kept an eye on myself and Paul who were by all accounts very entertaining. Well we do our best!

Sunday

Surprise surprise, it was a very slow start to the day. Paul and I looked a little less than healthy but as it was a nice day, we decided to get some air and went for a nice walk with Katie along the bridle path on the bank of the river Hayle.

After lunch, we headed to St Ives so that Paul could watch the Liverpool v Everton match. The Queens, where we were playing later, was showing the match so we stopped there. Hoover and I went for a wander in search of seals but didn't find any.

We all met for tea at a lovely waterfront cafe before unpacking all the equipment. Sara turned up to say hello but was also feeling a bit rough so departed before we started the gig. Our friend Kayne popped it to say hello. He was working that night but had to call in to say hi. Next came Bettina and Tony. Blimey, it's gonna take us ages to set up at this rate! ;-)

Shocking news... while setting up, we discovered that Britney's middle tooth had been coloured in the night before! Hmmmm, we have our suspicions.... We also realised that our tambourine was very likely sitting next to the monitor on stage at the Acorn! Damn!

The whole town seemed a bit quiet. The weather had been awful and an early Easter had thrown the tourist season out of sync a bit. We started the gig with a small audience which grew throughout the gig, with everyone rapt in what Hoover was going to say next. I'd offered to drive and let him drink for a change. I figured I'd probably had my share the night before. When Hoover has a couple of beers, he talks to the audience more. Introductions to songs become progressively longer - its a running joke in the band. He was on fine form, being very "talented and funny" which brings an extra something to the gig.

My favourite moment of the evening was during Seasons in the Sun when a guy was crying with laughter, so loudly that we hesitated before starting the next verse.

We got back to the caravan feeling quite tired after three nights of gigging. Paul and Katie stayed up later writing a new song that Paul had penned last week. I couldn't keep my eyes open and left them to it.

Monday

We had to leave the caravan by 10am which is a shock to the system for me, but we managed it. Katie was in her own car so we left her at the site and stopped at a cafe on the A30 for a big breakfast. We hadn't gone much further when I noticed a red light flashing on the dashboard. We pulled over, popped the engine open and found steam coming out! Bugger!

The next two and a half hours were spent chatting by the side of the road waiting for the breakdown service to check out the problem, and then for a new truck to come and tow us home. A hose needed replacing but was incredibly inaccessible and wasn't fixable by the roadside. Bugger!!!

We had to tow Iggy 100 miles home which was a pain. We all could've really done with the afternoon chilling before getting on with all the stuff we each had planned that night. A couple of months ago, we got chatting to Matt from Ocean 6 and it turns out he's a VW Specialist. He's looked over Iggy and done a bit work on him. In the 18 months since we've had Iggy, we've had a couple of people work on him. One guy who as near as damn it sabbotaged him, another who missed things sometimes. We've never found anyone who had known what he's doing the way Matt does, or has given the bit extra time to prevent problems from occuring. Cheers mate.